untitled (new poem)

Recovery Enby

When the beast comes to be,
The power comes from me
I overcome its weakness
For its weakness is a weakness
Because of me

A life filled with heartache, broken promises, bullies, shattered dreams
It changes you
You realize that all of that is an
Outside force
That can surely be reckoned with

Lessons… Life lessons,
Wisdom
It transforms your perspective in
Ways you never thought could be
In the
Beginning

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How can I Blame you…

Lyrics from Unforgiven III by Metallica

5am

5am in spring
The sun is getting up
Casting light on her skin

But she’s still crying
Because her mind is always up
Casting shadows on her life

– G.D.C.

Color of Blue

La Douleur Exquise

I bet it will hurt you once you read my words.
I hope your throat gets choked up and burn
I get so frustrated because I can’t stay mad at you
Or do anything to make you feel bad.
All I want was to feel something
But all the love I gave you was nothing.
I hope it makes you sad.
I hope it does.
And it’s you, I can’t be mad at.
So stop wasting my time and turn your back
And i’ll feel the color of blue.
At least then i’ll be attempting to forget you

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we’re the toxic one.

Disappear

Maybe i should leave for a while? Keep every contact to minimum. Close twitter for a bit. Not talk to anyone… maybe that would help… maybe i just need to.know that someone would miss me.

The truth is, i want to leave, i want to make her miss me. I wanna be away from her so she starts missing me too… how pathetic is that… i just want you to want to talk to me, why dont you, why am i suddenly one more distraction instead of the priority i was before? Love me, and show me you love me… please</3

My queen

This is so true, and i must try not to forget it.

Hotlines. Use them.

Recovery Enby

• Depression Hotline:1-630-482-9696
• Suicide Hotline:1-800-784-8433
• LifeLine:1-800-273-8255
• Trevor Project:1-866-488-7386
• Sexuality Support:1-800-246-7743
• Eating Disorders Hotline:1-847-831-3438
• Rape and Sexual Assault:1-800-656-4673
• Grief Support:1-650-321-5272
• Runaway:1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
• Exhale:After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
• Child Abuse:1-800-422-4453
• UK Helplines:
• Samaritans (for any problem):08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org
• Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem):08001111
• Mind infoline (mental health information):0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk
• Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice):0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk
• b-eat eating disorder support:0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk
• b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders):08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm – 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
• Cruse Bereavement Care:08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk
• Frank (information and advice on drugs):0800776600
• Drinkline:0800 9178282
• Rape Crisis England &amp; Wales:0808 802 9999 1(open 2 – 2.30pm 7 – 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk
• Rape Crisis Scotland:

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Current status

A weird feeling where i know i could painfully spew the words out, but theyre locked inside of me in a ball of tarry feelings.

Essence – Shades Of Black

Few lines from one of my favourite songs ever.

My tears are my words to you that my heart can never say
You see those tears of mine are shades
Of black that never fade away
Fade away…